How To Have A Woman Friend (Without Benefits)

It always presents innocuous at the start. Then the question.

“So I had wanted to ask you something,” her eyes ran away, fleeing the conversation, darting right as her neck crooked all swan-like in my sight.

We were sitting, two friends, in a diner—which one—I won't say as one can never be sure who's reading and what their intention may be. I'm an exhibitionist not a masochist.

“What is it?” I know what this is about, I've been here before, but curiosity makes even death seem inviting.

“No, it's nothing,” she wanted me to know, she didn't want to be the only with this secret—I played into it like a doof.

“What is it?”

She shrugged away my attempt at prying, like a pro, a boxer readying her strong hand for a hay-maker.

“You have to know by now...Jean-Marc...I like you”

Crap. Boom.

I chat on...to my own chagrin, “What...do you mean...as a friend?”

At points like these, we're reminded why community exists: to keep us from foolishness like this. Doesn't sound foolish yet? You didn't live the next few months of it: awkward pauses, me playing a broad range of ambiguous attraction, frustration, Frustration, FRUSTRATION, lies, slipping...slip...ing...FALLING.

Boom. Crap. Phone call:rudeness.

“I don't know where this is going,” well duh, neither did I. And that's why marriage is the goal ladies and gentleman, because it implies intent. What is “dating” or “talking to someone” and where does it begin—but I digress.

How To Have a Woman Friend and Keep it Friendly(by God's grace):

1. Know Yourself, Know Your Intentions
   -Know what you want and stick to it. Are you in it to date or not. Questions to ask yourself: Would my blood boil if I saw her kiss another guy? If you want to be the only man she talks to either slow down or step up.
2. Alone Time...Seriously?
   -Being alone with a female you want to treat as a godly friend and sister in Christ is like loading your refrigerator with cheesecake when you're trying to lose weight.
3. Be Real With God
   -God knows what's happening inside of you anyways, so you might as well be forthright and confess it to Him, its good for the soul
4. Pre-Fabricate Boundaries
   -After this mishap, I began setting up boundaries for OSFs (Opposite Sex Friendships): no phone calls after 10PM, limiting touching, etc., and surprise...no slipping!
   Don't trust yourself, because your emotions are malleable, Instead trust in God and ask Him for help in making you look like Him.

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.”

-Proverbs 4:23

In Him,

Jean-Marc

Luke: Mark Driscoll Goes Off On Men

Mark Driscoll in his classic railing on men mode. Hey,in a world where pastors and church staff ignore men, at least someone's doing it!

Speaking of Singleness Without Sounding Pathetic

“Our look was as if two lovers, or deadly enemies, met unexpectedly on a an overgrown path when each had been thinking of something else: a clearing blow to the gut. It was also a bright blow to the brain, or a sudden beating of brains, with all the charge and intimate grate of rubbed balloons. It emptied our lungs. It felled the forest, moved the fields, and drained the pond; the world dismantled and tumbled into that black hole of eyes. If you and I looked at each other that way, our skulls would split and drop to out shoulders. But we don't. We keep our skulls.”

-Annie Dilliard, Living Like Weasels

When folks talk about relationships and singleness, it typically sounds pathetic (Sorry). Like that one guy on Facebook that asked all the girls he knew what they were looking for in a man and what kind of wedding ring they want (GAG!) (Again Sorry). Single life is actually pretty cool.

I was born single, though I have not always been that way, I was un-single before.

What I disliked most about attached-ness was the lack of expectancy. Y'know what I'm talking about? That pre-roller coaster drop sensation, that “let's just keep driving and never look back” feeling, like ANYTHING can happen (Don't you love that phrase?).

In my experience anything happening is a good thing.

Wow, I was just convicted. Do I hold more excitement in my heart for meeting the lover of my life than I do for the lover of my soul. Ouch, that stung.

Deep, deep in me there's this desire to be like Moses, to be captivated by the Awesome that is God but somehow that expectancy wanes in the day-to-day. I need—we all need—a regular jolt of expectancy in our sensory diet—only Jesus can do it.

So I pray that over you and myself: that we would find our spouses on this earth (or love them better), and that we would be espoused to the heavenlys , that we would carefully watch the skies for activity.

Because...Anything Can Happen.

“This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods,and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. “

-1 Corinthians 7:29-31

In Him,

Jean-Marc

Mercy is Strength Upside Down

There is a true story told of a very athletic young man that rode a bus one day. Behind him were two rowdy men harshly behaved.

He was brown-skinned, they were pale and this was Pre-Civil Rights Movement.

The two harassed him throughout the entire bus ride: taunting and mocking him anyway they could imagine. By the time the athlete had reached his stop, he'd endured much verbal assault.Before stepping off, he reached into his coat pocket and handed them his business card.

It read:

JOE LOUIS

Professional Boxer

Real strength: showing mercy when you can just as easily crush someone.

Wielding strength for your own good is kind of like driving an SUV, it can be very easy to do—just run people over. But as followers of Christ, we have two major mandates: Love God and Love People (Mark 12:30-31), demonstrating appropriate mercy does both.

In 1 Samuel 24, David, the prophesied king of Israel, is running for his life from his former boss, Saul. Saul has thrown spears at him and threatened his life on numerous occasions. One day David finds Saul by himself, just minding his own business—an easy target. His fellow warriors tell him its just God 's favor. But instead of giving himself an easy victory and way out of stress, David shows Saul mercy, he even falls down before Saul on his knees!

“May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”

-1 Samuel 24:12

No matter where you are today, there will always be people below you and people above you, in some aspect. The tendency is to destroy the lowers to show off to the uppers, but that's not how Jesus Christ did it.

Follow Jesus.

Welcome to the Upside Down Kingdom.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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Men: God Saved Your Pants As Well

“When God saved you, That included your Pants”

-Mark Driscoll

I could tell you that I live near Orlando, FL and you'll think Disney World.

You probably don't think of porn but you should.

Orlando, FL is most recently, the greatest consumer of pornography in the United States of America.

Maybe you don't by that, the happiest place on earth being the center of smut.

Ask the women that live here. I did.

“I was walking out of the campus library one night,” as she began relating the story, I could feel my fists clench. I had no idea where this was going.

“I could hear rustling coming from some bushes nearby, and then a man came out.” At this point my heart is fearing for her safety.

“He begins walking after me, and then another pair of footsteps, and then I walk faster, then they follow faster”

I am silent.

“Somehow, I make it to the parking garage and get into my car. The men walk away”

Her university is infamous for its staggeringly high rape count. After that night she bought pepper spray.

When something other than God becomes the most important thing in your life, it will always change you for the worst. If sex is what you worship as God, then people become an object of sacrifice to your idol. Ask me about it, I was there, but God, in His Grace released me before I could ruin another person's life with my idolatry.

“They followed worthless idols and themselves became worthless. They imitated the nations around them although the LORD had ordered them, "Do not do as they do," and they did the things the LORD had forbidden them to do”

-2 Kings 17:15

God will free you from the weight of your sin:

1.just admit your wrongdoing

2.ask for forgiveness in the name of Jesus Christ

3.and the power to never make sex an idol again.

Let me know if I can help.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

A New Heart, Any Day Now

What is Christianity anyway?

“Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD”

-Psalm 31:24

Yesterday, all throughout the day, the school was of one mind and one accord. Every class period began with the usually taking of prayer requests...

Raised hand.

“There is a student on campus getting a heart transplant today, I think we should pray for her”

The rest of the class nodded in agreement, as they had all witnessed her testimony the other night. This frail eighteen year old woman shared her story of being sick most her life, her heart was failing. Since the age of seven, she had been confined to her hometown, unable to leave, in the hope she would receive the phone call that would change her life: “You're heart is ready, we have a heart for you”

It wouldn't take much after a speech like that to milk her condition for all it was worth. But then, I am told, she stared her classmates in the eyes with a supernatural beam, and said the following:

“Don't feel sorry for me, I know God WILL give me a heart, any day now”

She received the call within hours.

In studying the original language of the passage above, you will find that the Hebrew for “heart” can be translated as “will” or “mind”. So in other words, “Have your minds strengthened, you people waiting on God”

What is Christianity?

Christianity is the continued of process of being strengthened by God to make a difference for God.

He strengthens our hearts for the fight, and our patience when He takes over the fight for us.

Congratulations little sister, on the new heart.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

The Quest For Manhood

And a man sat alone.
Drenched deep in sadness.
And all the animals drew near to him and said:

"We do not like to see you so sad...
"Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it."
The Man said: "I want to have good sight."
The vulture replied: "You shall have mine."
The Man said: "I want to be strong."
The jaguar said: "You shall be strong like me."
Then the Man said: "I long to know the secrets of the earth."
The serpent replied: "I will show them to you."
And so it went with all the animals.

And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give...
...he left.

Then the owl said to the other animals:
"Now the Man knows much and is able to do many things...
"Suddenly I am afraid."
The deer said: "The Man has all that he needs."
"Now his sadness will stop."
But the owl replied: "No."
"I saw a hole in the Man...
"Deep like a hunger he will never fill...
"It is what makes him sad and what makes him want."
"He will go on taking and taking...
"until one day the World will say:
"I am no more and I have nothing left to give."

- Apocalypto, The Man

I spent the afternoon with a brother in the faith, we began share our troubles and anguish in searching for manhood. We came from different view points, though were able to nail a few characteristics to it:

It must be a chest at the bottom of the ocean,
A hostage on the other side of a fist fight,
It was probably candy red with wheels,
or maybe nicely pressed and draped,
with a corner office add-on,

But then we we came to our senses.
We could search forever, or realize we had everything we needed.
The world's manhood=more.
Real manhood=might,
and only God can give that.

“Together they will be like mighty men trampling the muddy streets in battle. Because the LORD is with them,”
-Zechariah 10:5

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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I Am No Son of Disappointment

Not that I imagine to have it down perfectly, but it has taken me 26 life years to learn to stop yelling at myself mentally. I have outgrown its bit of usefulness. I am not a child that requires rules and ultimatums but a man that requires validating words spoken from a loving heart.

I do not have less things to accomplish, in fact I have more, but these works are not to be done by someone beaten down but one esteemed for noble use, confident enough to recognize the benefit of healthy change and confident enough to make it happen. I am that person.

I am no son of disappointment

There is a destructive tendency of self-critique inside of me everything within wishes to kill. I have tried to kill this demon so many ways in the past: making myself into a machine devoted to working and the pursuit of money, Eastern-style meditation and attempting to present myself as an infinite well of useful knowledge (ie. How to mix the perfect cocktail or throw the best rave), but pursuits fell short. Shorter than short and even shorter than that.

I always ended up tired, rigid, exposed and alone, because there are no human-sized fig leaves. There is not enough stuff in this world to fill the black hole one's heart becomes without Christ. There is not  enough sex, with enough women on enough islands replete with enough narcotics to give us enough amnesia of who we are eternally without Jesus—broken and jacked up, though through Christ we can be redeemed, as in get back our worth from the hands of the one that pretended to be our friend. His name is Satan, maybe you've worked with him. You don't have to any longer.

Don't destroy yourself in your attempt to redeem yourself. Let Jesus do that for you.

“I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ”
-Philippians 3:8

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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I Don't Need You To Love Me

Every relationship in a man's life will boil down to one question: “How much do you need me?”

I have been hit it in the face, I have been choked, kicked and tackled—but I have never felt as harsh a pain as rejection.

There is a prayer group that meets on the university campus weekly, in the hope God would one day bring about a mighty revival in our region. People will show up some days, people will not show up some days, as is the commitment of young college students. No one showing up is not what bothers me, ignoring me does. For some reason, people with which I never had a meaningful relationship, will straight-up avoid me, and pretend I am not alive, walking through me. Is this high school?

I have people in my life, that I once called friends, but for some reason, refuse to accept any mode of communication from me, so I take the hint, ejecting them from my life forever.

Time after time, I have found myself the object of some scandal: people assuming malicious intent on my part for something or other, and the result is them avoiding me. Not very good for a self-described extrovert—it can feel like hell—and all this from folks I'm supposed to spend eternity with!

Sometimes we feel like social lepers, like we have a disease.

Rejection eats you from the inside, spreads through the blood stream and ultimately dulls the brain. The body becomes an impersonal shell the sufferer propels through ambulation. Emotion becomes something fake, because the truth is you don't really feel anything—you've already felt too much.

Typical viruses last days, as does the flu, but the pangs of forceful exclusion from another's life don't really have an expiration date. You never really know when you are getting better, since emotions don't follow rigid logic or treatment plans, they move sporadically like the rise and fall of ocean waves.

As safeguards, we can learn to build personas like “Everything's A-OK ” Guy, or “Holy Bible Preacher” Man or Mr. “I'm Never Offended/ I Don't Care.” These never solve the problem, they just provide ample soil for the weeds of resentment to sprout.

So I am choosing to do, what most men hate to: I will admit my hurt to God (and my inner circle) and give ultimately give it up to Him.

A well-respected Man of God once noted, in 1 Corinthians 15:58, the Apostle Paul said “Let nothing move you”, not let nothing hurt you. We hurt regularly, but we do not die.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed “

-2 Corinthians 4:8-9

There is a unique community amongst the persons of the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, a community of strength, support and power. Christians are people that are always accepted and never alone.

Something unexplainable occurs when we decide to live life in-light of the Cross. We are reminded that being rejected is not strange (1 Peter 4:12), and being ignored is not the end of the world.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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You Don't Know the Gospel

An angel with a sword on fire.

It all starts with an angel holding a sword on fire.

In this moment, I would like you to do something: be aware of the clothes you're wearing. Feel the weight of your cotton blend shirt upon your chest, let the snugness of your jeans itch a little bit.

Then imagine all of your clothing forcibly ripped off of your body, not a shred left. You are then pushed out of your home, to walk. How do you feel? Do you feel a bit cold?

Imagine walking slowly, pathetically naked, except for the wetness of a slaughtered animal on your body. The fat rubs upon your back as you walk barefoot upon wild foliage that crunches damply beneath you. Something is dripping off your arm, it is blood, running off the dead creature, pooling at your elbow, the uncomfortable feeling tells you to rub it off, you do so, onto your stomach.

You're walking through the wilderness with the only person you have ever known, but you don't know where or how far. You see their face, riddled with shame, you know they've let you down, but you're wearing the same dead animal they are, you let them down. This new thing, this discomfort, is too much to take, so you turn around.

And then you see it, then you remember. There flies the glowing angel with the flaming sword, striking the air in all directions, keeping you permanently away from your home. It was sent by the Voice from the Sky. The Great God that brought you here and gave you another person to speak with and keep warm, has ruined things. He wasn't always a voice, He used to be a part of your daily life, delighting in your new discoveries, providing for your freedom and safety, however there is a distance now.

You stand, looking for something familiar, even a rock, behind the swing of the powerful sword. And you are tempted to try running toward the paradise of Eden, but you know IF you make it, only half of you will get there. The other half of your body will wait for death. There you are, two sad people, hoping for paradise you can not reach.

But if you had the mind of God, you wouldn't despair. He sees the futility of your thoughts and attempts, He has a plan. Out of all the forests of all the trees around the globe, He counts one special, in a place far away. Its descendents will be split open and ripped apart, shaved down by tyrants and fastened together in an odd shape, where the beams intersect, they will call it a 'cross' one day. His Son, Jesus Christ, will die on one. Not too far from that tree, grazes a herd of cattle. Men will recognize the toughness of their skin and use it to create clothing, writing materials and whips, like the one His Son will feel.

No, there is no way for you to cross past the Lord's Guardian to paradise, without dying. So His Son will do it. He will launch himself into the path of the sword, so you can cross back over into the land of Good Favor. Then He will miraculously pick Himself up off the grass, forgive you for His death and guide you both, man and woman, back to Eden, to the Home you have been missing.

This is not something you did.

This is The Gospel.

Genesis 3.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

*This reflection was inspired by the teaching of Pastor Chan Kilgore.

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The Necessity of Quitting Guilt

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Burnout is a sneaky problem, because we, so many times fail to see it at all.

About a half-year into my experience here in FL, things had honestly gotten rough: I had no close relationships outside my immediate family, no home church, and school everyday. Any free time I had was spent on odd jobs and teaching. I was rest-less.

I regularly attended a bi-monthly Friday Bible Study, but with a sense of disappointment: I was preaching at different churches every Sunday with none to call home. Expressing
general frustration about my life to a brother present, he made the most radical suggestion:

“Maybe you should quit”

“Quit?” My mind couldn't grasp the concept. I was a servant of the Most High God in a world going to Hell with the speed of a rocket pack strapped to its back. How could I leave my responsibilities? His answer was simple:

“If you keep going like this, you're gonna break”

He was right: I was as critical as an Olympic gymnastics judge and as miserable as a movie theater-mopper.

I told him that he made a good point and I later asked God about it. That night, God gave me two visions affirming my exit from two monthly engagements. So, I woke up, called up both leaders...AND QUIT.

Faith without works is dead, but works without faith (and rest) makes a zombie.

Some of you can't even fathom the move of quitting. Even reading this, some of you will brush it off, but consider this truth: “All extremes are dysfunctional.”

Sometimes we construct for ourselves a world, a world of half-microwaved phrases—“winners never quit,” “quitters never win,” and “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”—a world of extremes, fantasy, and carelessness.

A wise man once said that in ministry and life there will be five “no's” for every “yes,” which means we can't do everything for everyone.

Is your time being used wisely? What is motivating your decisions to overload: is it passion for what God is doing or guilt for what you are not?

“Your day is a well, you only have 24 hours to draw from. At the end of the day, it will be gone.
Life is not always a choice between bad and good, but often between good and better”
-T. Dilena

In my situation, I was only supplementing what established leaders were doing weekly. I still kept my preaching gigs at churches by the university and other ministry commitments; it just became clear where I was needed. In the other locales, the leadership didn't want me there (for theological differences), the students were unresponsive and my times to speak were regularly canceled. I firmly believe in work that is hard and worthwhile, but work that's pointless...no thanks.

Be motivated by the Holy Spirit and seeing people's lives change, not guilt. Remember that you are not Jesus, and even He took a break (Mark 7:24)

“a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away '
-Ecclesiastes 3:5-6

In Him,

Jean-Marc


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iRepent: Luke Living through the Holy Spirit

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There was once a man that visited a mega church, but this one was a little different. The summer weather, having taken a grievous toll on parishioners, led the church to distribute water bottles to those entering one Sunday morning.

The refreshment team seemed to consist of one hard worker. This middle-aged gentleman looked ragged, but performed his duty with the utmost care. His job was to wipe the water sweat off each bottle, wrap it in a napkin and hand it to each person entering. The visitor, seeing what care the man put into the task, began to inquire about him to the church's pastor.

“Oh, that guy,” the pastor began “he's worth a lot of money”
The visitor stood nonplussed, “what do you mean?”
“He is the top neurosurgeon in the region and State”
“Really?”
“Yep, he owns several practices all over, one of the best in the country”
“You don't say.”
“Yep, his net worth is estimated to be in the millions, he's a millionaire!”

True Story.

In the Bible there was another physician named Lucas or Luke. You must understand that in the environment of the ancient Hellenistic world, it was very common for people to be illiterate, especially women. But here is Luke, a man educated to the point of being a doctor. And he uses those years of education to serve others, namely the apostle Paul.

Luke wrote the books of Luke and Acts, but you wouldn't know it because he doesn't talk about himself. In fact, the only reason he is mentioned in the Bible at all is because Paul brings him up three times. What humility--that I don't have.

Through our education and into our chosen fields of occupation, we many times unconsciously, size people up in terms of how much they can do for us, or how we can surpass them. Many of us are raised on this ideology, the reason we are not to behave in a certain way is because we don't want to be or look like “those people,” whoever they are. We are taught to be better.

Luke could have started multiple practices, made a name for himself, surrounded himself with a harem of beautiful women, or even run for Roman government (he was a Gentile, or non-Jew by birth), instead he chose to be a co-worker with Paul, a fiery preacher that was regularly arrested, stoned, beaten, dragged and cursed out. One's choice of company speaks volumes.

What does your circle of friends say about you? If you're like many of us, your circle is strategically built to ensure the consistent flow of money, power, praise and position. I pray we all would be more like Jesus. It is by the power of His Holy Spirit that Luke didn't look down on others. That is something worth praying for.

God help us to look past what we can gain from others in and outside the Body of Christ and lead us to serve in sincere humility. Amen.

From Paul's last words before death:

“Do your best to come to me quickly, or Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.
Only Luke is with me.”
-2 Timothy 4:9-11

In Him,

Jean-Marc


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iRepent: I Want Jesus to be Enough

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I really want Jesus to be enough, but I need help.

Two plus years ago:

I had been in New York for a few days, living in a basement, visually attacked on all sides by what my life had become. Dust, boxes and boxes of junk, strange smells, the ping-pang of the boiler pipes which ran straight through the “room” and the ominous sounds of unidentified scurrying pests, daily reminded me to never get comfortable here. I was a professional and couldn't live like this, so I made a plan for redemption. The first thing I needed was to do research, I needed a laptop.

With the last couple hundred dollars of my savings, I purchased myself a Dell Inspiron 1545 laptop with Windows Vista, sweet Windows Vista. The device fulfilled its goal and a few months later, I was out of that rut.

Two weeks ago:

“My laptop is crap,” I said in embarrassment every time I pulled out that dusty, finger print and body oil smeared, corner-cracked piece of black hard plastic out of my jungle-torn “laptop” bag. I needed it for university, I had Windows 7 but I wasn't in love with it, I really needed a new laptop anyway, maybe an iPad.

And then, it stopped working entirely. All my assignments, purchased music, programs and pictures were on this dead piece of plastic junk. And as was inevitable when bad things happen, I had an essay due.

I shared the story with my less than sympathetic Advanced Expository Writing Professor, “ I think you'll have to lose a letter grade, for turning in your paper late,” our relationship became complicated. “I guess I'll have to write it from scratch,” he was unmoved.

Perhaps it was after I had failed to repair my laptop for the tenth time, or became accustomed to the velocity of Windows XP on the home desktop, circa 2004, but I learned to deal with it. I just accepted that I could not have internet access everywhere I went. I just accepted that I wouldn't have all the fancy graphics. There is a time to accept, or better yet, appreciate our stations in life.

Our world runs on dissatisfaction, the reason our gyms are full, our wallets are not full enough, our job are full of “idiots”, our relationships are full of problems and the Apple store is full of people on a Saturday morning.

I don't so much preach to you, as I sit with you and admit something has gone wrong, but its not everything going on around us, it is in us.

A pastor once sat with an older mentor in the ministry one day and began to pour out his heart. He spoke about all the difficulties involved with planting a church,without a building, without people, without help. The older minister stopped him mid-sentence, “Is Jesus Enough?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, of course, but these are real problems,” and he began to list them in detail.
The older minister politely stopped him again, “everything after that 'but' is a sad excuse for a Savior.”

“Is Jesus Enough?”

“...in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2 Corinthians 12:7-10

God Help Us.

Jean-Marc

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iRepent: How I Gave Up My Religion

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On Tuesday morning, I decided to give up my religion.

I went for my usually run near home, when I came upon a group of teenagers waiting for the bus, I was feeling God's joy that morning and gave out a couple of tracts, even one to a stiff-looking speed walker.

But on my way back home, as I began running past an elderly couple, sitting at a bus stop, I became suddenly aware of what I was supposed to do:

“If you're going to witness, then what about that guy?” I thought looking at the white-haired man in conversation with a lady wheelchair-bound.

“Well, I don't have any tracts left”

“Isn't that a good excuse, do you need tracts to talk about Jesus?” I retorted.

“Well, no...”

“Then what are you waiting for? Just interrupt their conversation”

“But I don't know if that's a good idea”

“What, do you care about what people think about you? Do you want this man to go to hell?”

He had a point. So I stopped running and stood there dumbfounded, unsure of what to do, just a few feet away from the bus stop.

“I don't want him to go to hell”

“Good, then do something about it”

“But it doesn't make sense...I'm gonna keep running”

“You're leaving him?! You're just gonna leave?! Are you ashamed?! Are you scared?! You're gonna regret this! You're gonna regret this!”

“Maybe you're right”

“Of course I'm right, you're blowing it!”

My jog took me past another bench. A portly gentleman with black balding hair perched above his gold glasses kindly waves as I pass him by.

“Please don't be mad, I know I should have stopped”

“I'm sick and tired of hearing about everything you should do. Just do something already!”

“You're right”

“I know I'm right”

“I don't know why God puts up with me”

“Beats me, I thought you were called, but let me...”

And then I heard through my headphones, a word sent from my Savior to me:

“God has two enemies: sin and religion”

-Mark Driscoll

I stopped the internal dialogue and realized my arrogance. If it was my job to save this entire world by myself, then where is God? Did I really think placing God on the sidelines was a holy thing to do? God does ministry, He just provides people the opportunity to take part in it.

I repented of my religion, sort of running, creeping and crying at the same time.

Religion is why you are unable to look at yourself in the mirror and sing, “It is well with my soul.”

Religion is why you are unable to stand certain people when you look at them, because somehow, someway, you got it into your mind that you were better than they were.

Religion is why you would sooner yell at people for their sin, then explain to them their need for a savior.

God has shoulders large enough to carry the world, your problems and some.

God is not looking for substitutes for when He is not feeling well.

God does not want to crush you, He wants to heal you.

The sad truth is many people have come in and out of church, but they've never met Jesus. They've tried to live “good lives” and try to be “good people.” But its a hamster wheel my friends: you just run in circles for really a long time, because you will never, ever, even in your wildest dreams be good enough to justify yourself to God. But the Good News is, you do not have to! You just need to meet Jesus.

No matter who you are, talk to Him and ask for His forgiveness. He will give it!

And when that's done, grab a Bible, open to the book of Mark and read.

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners”

-Mark 2:17

-In Him,

Jean-Marc

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Just Entertainment?: The Hunger Games Movie Review

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They have called it “mesmerizing”, a “winner”, “the best American Sci-Fi Film since 'The Matrix'” and a blockbuster record-breaker but I call it sick. Now before you write this off as some moralizing sermon, you should know something about the person whom you are reading .

Going into the local cineplex, I was all-too-familiar with the Hunger Games Franchise written by Suzanne Collins about a dystopian future society that forced children into an arena to kill each other for the entertainment of the wealthy Capitol government and its people. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed the first book and began tearing into the second, all while pushing others to do the same. I am also no bleeding heart when it comes to...well...bleeding. Historically, I have always appreciated a film with a significant element of bloodsport: I watched as Maximus decapitated a fellow combatant in Ridley Scott's Gladiator, it was my favorite part; when Jaguar Paw delivered a head crushing blow to one of his pursuers in Mel Gibson's Apocalypto, resulting in the spurting of brain blood, I gasped ―then cheered. I have even written more than one movie in which the premise has been little more than: one guy kills everybody, horrifically.

But it must have been over an hour into the Hunger Games movie, when yet another child had been fatally maimed, and the person I had attended the film with lost it; a novice to violent cinema, she could barely keep her composure during the film. “This is sick,”she tearfully cried into the air of the dark theater, “What kind of world is this?” “This is sick”

To say the words hit me, would be cliché, but in that moment I asked myself what cinephiles hate to: Why am I watching this? And no morally-sufficient answers came, so I led her out of the theater and demanded our money back from the customer service counter.

“Oh, its just entertainment” I imagine one thinking. It is reported Suzanne Collins came up with the premise while flipping channels on television, between news coverage of the war and reality television. The whole appalling idea behind the Hunger Games is that an entire nation of people would watch the innocent killing of 12-18 year olds as entertainment. By all accounts, the film is an international box-office success―for what reason―because nations of people:logically thinking adults like myself, teens and yes, even children are purchasing movie tickets to watch―the innocent killing of 12-18 year olds as entertainment. The truth is we are the Capitol.

“Oh c'mon, its just fantasy, its not even real, they're paid actors” And isn't that the problem? That film corporations would pay actors and actresses handsomely to portray these stories because they know we will watch? And what effect does this have on the young actors specifically?

Having attempted to make my living in acting at one point, I can tell that your choices effect our work. Sex and violence sell, so someone has to have the sex and someone has to be violated, its just supply and demand. Many are the stories of my female colleagues asked to shed clothing or my male colleagues, myself again included, to portray monster killing machines, a la the Hunger Games' Cato. At what point do we turn off the tap and say 'that's it, this far and no farther'? At what point will we crave peace and purity as much as we apparently crave sex and death? When our hearts change.

In the end, this isn't about the money you paid or didn't, the book you read or wouldn't but about the problem of my and your deep desires. The problem is, that I have been a part of the problem, and if you are honest, you are too―but you don't need to stay in that place.

More importantly than being the second week of the Collins' film release, this week marks the release of our guilt and shame in the person of Jesus Christ. He was in no arena. Had no weapon with which to defend himself. He had to die. For your sinful heart. For my sinful heart. So we would not be pushed and pulled by what others tell us to do, like and condone, but so we could have freedom from unjust influence and bondage.

There are no “odds” with God. No matter what you've done or what's been done to you He still calls for you: hoping and believing that this Easter, you would recognize that when He died for the world―that included you.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.”

-Matthew 5:3-9

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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