How To Have A Woman Friend (Without Benefits)

It always presents innocuous at the start. Then the question.

“So I had wanted to ask you something,” her eyes ran away, fleeing the conversation, darting right as her neck crooked all swan-like in my sight.

We were sitting, two friends, in a diner—which one—I won't say as one can never be sure who's reading and what their intention may be. I'm an exhibitionist not a masochist.

“What is it?” I know what this is about, I've been here before, but curiosity makes even death seem inviting.

“No, it's nothing,” she wanted me to know, she didn't want to be the only with this secret—I played into it like a doof.

“What is it?”

She shrugged away my attempt at prying, like a pro, a boxer readying her strong hand for a hay-maker.

“You have to know by now...Jean-Marc...I like you”

Crap. Boom.

I chat on...to my own chagrin, “What...do you mean...as a friend?”

At points like these, we're reminded why community exists: to keep us from foolishness like this. Doesn't sound foolish yet? You didn't live the next few months of it: awkward pauses, me playing a broad range of ambiguous attraction, frustration, Frustration, FRUSTRATION, lies, slipping...slip...ing...FALLING.

Boom. Crap. Phone call:rudeness.

“I don't know where this is going,” well duh, neither did I. And that's why marriage is the goal ladies and gentleman, because it implies intent. What is “dating” or “talking to someone” and where does it begin—but I digress.

How To Have a Woman Friend and Keep it Friendly(by God's grace):

1. Know Yourself, Know Your Intentions
   -Know what you want and stick to it. Are you in it to date or not. Questions to ask yourself: Would my blood boil if I saw her kiss another guy? If you want to be the only man she talks to either slow down or step up.
2. Alone Time...Seriously?
   -Being alone with a female you want to treat as a godly friend and sister in Christ is like loading your refrigerator with cheesecake when you're trying to lose weight.
3. Be Real With God
   -God knows what's happening inside of you anyways, so you might as well be forthright and confess it to Him, its good for the soul
4. Pre-Fabricate Boundaries
   -After this mishap, I began setting up boundaries for OSFs (Opposite Sex Friendships): no phone calls after 10PM, limiting touching, etc., and surprise...no slipping!
   Don't trust yourself, because your emotions are malleable, Instead trust in God and ask Him for help in making you look like Him.

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.”

-Proverbs 4:23

In Him,

Jean-Marc