Every relationship in a man's life will boil down to one question: “How much do you need me?”
I have been hit it in the face, I have been choked, kicked and tackled—but I have never felt as harsh a pain as rejection.
There is a prayer group that meets on the university campus weekly, in the hope God would one day bring about a mighty revival in our region. People will show up some days, people will not show up some days, as is the commitment of young college students. No one showing up is not what bothers me, ignoring me does. For some reason, people with which I never had a meaningful relationship, will straight-up avoid me, and pretend I am not alive, walking through me. Is this high school?
I have people in my life, that I once called friends, but for some reason, refuse to accept any mode of communication from me, so I take the hint, ejecting them from my life forever.
Time after time, I have found myself the object of some scandal: people assuming malicious intent on my part for something or other, and the result is them avoiding me. Not very good for a self-described extrovert—it can feel like hell—and all this from folks I'm supposed to spend eternity with!
Sometimes we feel like social lepers, like we have a disease.
Rejection eats you from the inside, spreads through the blood stream and ultimately dulls the brain. The body becomes an impersonal shell the sufferer propels through ambulation. Emotion becomes something fake, because the truth is you don't really feel anything—you've already felt too much.
Typical viruses last days, as does the flu, but the pangs of forceful exclusion from another's life don't really have an expiration date. You never really know when you are getting better, since emotions don't follow rigid logic or treatment plans, they move sporadically like the rise and fall of ocean waves.
As safeguards, we can learn to build personas like “Everything's A-OK ” Guy, or “Holy Bible Preacher” Man or Mr. “I'm Never Offended/ I Don't Care.” These never solve the problem, they just provide ample soil for the weeds of resentment to sprout.
So I am choosing to do, what most men hate to: I will admit my hurt to God (and my inner circle) and give ultimately give it up to Him.
A well-respected Man of God once noted, in 1 Corinthians 15:58, the Apostle Paul said “Let nothing move you”, not let nothing hurt you. We hurt regularly, but we do not die.
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed “
-2 Corinthians 4:8-9
There is a unique community amongst the persons of the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, a community of strength, support and power. Christians are people that are always accepted and never alone.
Something unexplainable occurs when we decide to live life in-light of the Cross. We are reminded that being rejected is not strange (1 Peter 4:12), and being ignored is not the end of the world.
In Him,
Jean-Marc
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