Good afternoon...

God is pleased with you #closertogod

The difference...

between life and sin: the god you understand and the God that is #closertogod

True sin...

cannot bear the weight of holy laughter #closertogod

Culture of The Damned

Pulling sticky cards off stacks,
of Jesus Loves You,
The words we rarely say,
or ever mean.
When was the last time,
our actions showed what we believe?
 And in the gap is guilt,
when we sit,
And we think this is love.
Foolish children.
Have we ever known love?
Obsessive culture concerned with likes,
shares and RSS.
Feed your souls.
Did you watch a video?
Did someone tell you that is love?
And when will you see it from me?
And do I ever have the time?
Obsessive culture,
 I damn you in my own way:
To receive my love from a distance.


 Jean-Marc Saint Laurent

100 Things I Wish I Would've Known 10 Years Ago

1. People can't meet your every need.
2. Your parents are people with their own problems
3. Some friendships will require your effort
4. Some people are better to have as enemies
5. No, is an awesome word
6. You are not holy
7. New Years Resolutions are Pointless
8. You only really need one slice of pizza
9. God is not like your parents
10. Never return your car to the dealer
11. Pay your bills on time
12. Church is a hospital
13. Anyone that boasts about their exploits, isn't worth following
14. FREE now, means PAY later
15. You could have always waited longer
16. You think you'll die without their approval...but you won't
17. When in doubt, say “No”
18. No one's gotten over ANY sin really
19. You can't live for the approval of others
20. People lie regularly, so trust sparingly
21. You can learn wisdom from idiots
22. Start projects before you think you need to
23. You never have as much time as you think
24. Don't compromise your integrity for a feeling
25. People that tell you, they'll stick around don't always
26. You will have to learn many lessons on your own.
27. God allows us to deal with pain sometimes...er...often
28. No use in beating up yourself...over anything
29. If you really wanted it that bad, you would've done it by now
30. Trying to be someone else's version of you is pointless and exhausting
31. YOU are who YOU are by GOD'S GRACE
32. The finger you wave at others will lead you to similar sin
33. Don't confuse lack of opportunity with lack of sinful desires
34. You get what you negotiate
35. Listen to quiet people more often
36. “The empty truck makes the most noise”
37. Most of the people from your childhood should've been punched in the face
38. Chew over your words now and you won't have to eat them later
39. Jesus is the only one who was realistic about life
40. Be careful of singing songs you don't know the meaning to
41. Stop acting surprised when you sin, it'll happen again
42. Most people spend their whole lives trying to be taken seriously
43. Adding insult to another's pain is never warranted
44. People in the magazines aren't real
45. Your life will never play out like a movie
46. The only “clean” movies are PG and below
47. No adult watches only “clean” movies
48. Ignorance is the worst racism of all
49. Most people already know about their problems and bad habits
50. Life is almost rational all of the time
51. People dislike their families because they remind them of their past
52. Your mother will always embarrass you
53. Your MP3 player can change you for the better or worse
54. All truth is God's truth
55. You can be polite most of the time
56. Many “successful” people don't even know how they got there
57. Your life is not made up of a single over-arching goal, but a series of small victories
58. You typically don't meet people at first, you meet their representatives
59. Love is the sacrifice of space and boundaries
60. GOD always loves you
61. Kids are the only ones that mean what they say
62. You can do much more than you think
63. You have much more influence than you think
64. Overachieving can be a lonely activity
65. God doesn't carry a score card
66. Simple explanations of life don't get to the heart of it
67. No matter where you go, you bring YOURSELF along
68. Thank God you aren't sinning more
69. When you find encouraging people, chain yourself to them
70. You only need to work 5-6 days a week
71. You should never use text messages to talk about your feelings
72. Most people don't have the gall to disrespect you to your face
73. The news will always make the world seem like a more violent place than it will ever be
74. Politics is pointless
75. Don't vote for the sake of candidates, vote because you can
76. Saying “I Love You” more, won't make them believe it
77. You find out a lot about someone when you disappoint them
78. Actions speak louder than words, but words are always necessary
79. Everyone, sometime, eventually contradicts themselves
80. Feeling inferior is just a feeling
81. Most of the stuff you're worried about won't happen
82. Don't go with how you feel, go with what you know
83. Most decisions are better made after a good night's sleep
84. Appreciate people now
85. Thank you is still one of the most powerful phrases we forget to use
86. Its better to speak the truth, than act like you're cool with it
87. If you do the same things, you'll get the same results
88. Never try to predict people, once in a while, they'll surprise you
89. Respect should never be solely based upon a paycheck
90. Money can't buy class or respect
91. Having a little less money will always make you a little more hungry to achieve more
92. There's a lot to learn from bad parenting
93. Action beats talking about action most of the time
94. You might just be exaggerating, really, NOBODY likes you?
95. Plan for the worst, hope for the best
96. There will always be haters, just don't hate on yourself
97. Happy pictures don't mean happy people
98. Life wouldn't be as satisfying without the struggle
99. A good GOD and a few good friends is all you need
100. Don't yell at yourself, there are folks that'll do that for free.

WHERE ARE YOU GOD?

I'm doing everything I'm supposed to,

but somehow the connection is faulty.

All I do is see the heathen prosper,

so I'm likin' the Psalms right now,

but everything else seems like jibberish to me,

I'm so surprised by how vulnerable I am,

how angry I really am,

and how alone I feel when you are supposed to be with me.

When are you going to show up?

I get tired of asking that question,

and yet I still ask,

because I still pray,

though sometimes I don't know why.

Now and again, I remind myself these days:

“Yes, I believe in God”

But where are you?

Do you believe in me?

My thoughts are nothing but lust and anger these days,

my actions are pride, hopelessness and, sometimes hope,

but I need more Lord.

I need more...or I'll die.

Come quickly.

Amen.

Don't Lose Hope, God Has The Keys...

So I was out with my sister, at a store she HAD to visit in one of the many lovely shopping complexes that absolutely litter my part of town.

I was annoyed, yet there I was.

After bearing the selection process, the line, the awkward conversation with the cashier, we were back in the parking lot.

“Now, where is the car?”

I walked, as most men do, by my God-given gift of instinct—in the wrong direction. In fact, everywhere I walked in this parking lot WAS WRONG! I tried to replay the memory tape in my head, re-visualize the walk to the store—I was lost every time, rather, the car was lost.

And there was my sister, who can be a bit of drama, especially during inconvenient moments such as these.

What got to me most about my situation—perhaps—was not being complained at or walking, even though I started to feel New York in my legs all over. What did it was that I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN where I was going, I should have known, but I didn't. And every speed walk down another hopelessly pointless lane, munched at my sense of pride.

For those that have followed this blog, thank you first, but secondly, I hope to be honest with you, because I think this might be therapeutic—my life is that parking lot these days. I keep walking up and down, the same aisles, it seems, with the same results: no rest, no answer. I want someone to take it easy on me—GOD, PEOPLE—someone to make me feel affirmed, but it doesn't always happen that way, does it?

Y'know, I think of Moses these days, I mean, really think—how were those first 40 YEARS in the desert (on the run for murder) (Exodus 2)? I imagine they weren't really comforting years. I don't remember reading about any great revivals in the desert while Moses tended sheep. He didn't even know what God wanted to do with him until he was 80!

And that's a truth I'm finding out about God, yes God is loving and patient and kind, but God is tough, and God will pull us through situations that will not give us the option of ignoring them or sleeping through them. They may very well hurt.

AND LET ME TELL YOU: from the perspective of one who wonders if his faith is not just leaking from him—it will take prayer just to pray, and faith to have faith (if you don't know what I'm talkin' about now, you will). You will have to preach to yourself and rely heavily on the Lord's grace.

But back to the car in the parking lot...

The one thing that gave me hope in that 30 minute search, was that I had the keys in my hand, and therefore, I knew I had a way home after that mess.

God holds the key to your solution.

Remember that.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

Revelation 1:17-18: “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.”

The Clasp

The Clasp
by Sharon Olds

She was four, he was one, it was raining, we had colds,
we had been in the apartment two weeks straight,
I grabbed her to keep her from shoving him over on his
face, again, and when I had her wrist
in my grasp I compressed it, fiercely, for a couple
of seconds, to make an impression on her,
to hurt her, our beloved firstborn, I even almost
savored the stinging sensation of the squeezing,
the expression, into her, of my anger,
"Never, never, again," the righteous
chant accompanying the clasp. It happened very
fast-grab, crush, crush,
crush, release-and at the first extra
force, she swung her head, as if checking
who this was, and looked at me,
and saw me-yes, this was her mom,
her mom was doing this. Her dark,
deeply open eyes took me
in, she knew me, in the shock of the moment
she learned me. This was her mother, one of the
two whom she most loved, the two
who loved her most, near the source of love
was this.

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Read This Bible Chapter Everyday

1 Corinthians 13: 
 
The Way of Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,^a but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;^b 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

If you want a truly convicting sermon replace love with your name in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4-7, and see if that's true.

In  Him,

Jean-Marc

Advertisement For The Waldorf-Astoria

Advertisement For The Waldorf-Astoria

by Langston Hughes

Fine living . . . a la carte?
Come to the Waldorf-Astoria!

LISTEN HUNGRY ONES!
Look! See what Vanity Fair says about the
new Waldorf-Astoria:

"All the luxuries of private home. . . ."
Now, won't that be charming when the last flop-house
has turned you down this winter?
Furthermore:
"It is far beyond anything hitherto attempted in the hotel
world. . . ." It cost twenty-eight million dollars. The fa-
mous Oscar Tschirky is in charge of banqueting.
Alexandre Gastaud is chef. It will be a distinguished
background for society.
So when you've no place else to go, homeless and hungry
ones, choose the Waldorf as a background for your rags--
(Or do you still consider the subway after midnight good
enough?)

ROOMERS
Take a room at the new Waldorf, you down-and-outers--
sleepers in charity's flop-houses where God pulls a
long face, and you have to pray to get a bed.
They serve swell board at the Waldorf-Astoria. Look at the menu, will
you:

GUMBO CREOLE
CRABMEAT IN CASSOLETTE
BOILED BRISKET OF BEEF
SMALL ONIONS IN CREAM
WATERCRESS SALAD
PEACH MELBA

Have luncheon there this afternoon, all you jobless.
Why not?
Dine with some of the men and women who got rich off of
your labor, who clip coupons with clean white fingers
because your hands dug coal, drilled stone, sewed gar-
ments, poured steel to let other people draw dividends
and live easy.
(Or haven't you had enough yet of the soup-lines and the bit-
ter bread of charity?)
Walk through Peacock Alley tonight before dinner, and get
warm, anyway. You've got nothing else to do.

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Evolutionary Hymn

Evolutionary Hymn

By Clive Staples Lewis

Lead us, Evolution, lead us
Up the future's endless stair;
Chop us, change us, prod us, weed us.
For stagnation is despair:
Groping, guessing, yet progressing,
Lead us nobody knows where.

Wrong or justice, joy or sorrow,
In the present what are they
while there's always jam-tomorrow,
While we tread the onward way?
Never knowing where we're going,
We can never go astray.

To whatever variation
Our posterity may turn
Hairy, squashy, or crustacean,
Bulbous-eyed or square of stern,
Tusked or toothless, mild or ruthless,
Towards that unknown god we yearn.

Ask not if it's god or devil,
Brethren, lest your words imply
Static norms of good and evil
(As in Plato) throned on high;
Such scholastic, inelastic,
Abstract yardsticks we deny.

Far too long have sages vainly
Glossed great Nature's simple text;
He who runs can read it plainly,
'Goodness = what comes next.'
By evolving, Life is solving
All the questions we perplexed.

On then! Value means survival-
Value. If our progeny
Spreads and spawns and licks each rival,
That will prove its deity
(Far from pleasant, by our present,
Standards, though it may well be). 

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Brown and Agile Child

Brown and Agile Child

by Pablo Neruda

Brown and agile child, the sun which forms the fruit
And ripens the grain and twists the seaweed
Has made your happy body and your luminous eyes
And given your mouth the smile of water.

A black and anguished sun is entangled in the twigs
Of your black mane when you hold out your arms.
You play in the sun as in a tidal river
And it leaves two dark pools in your eyes.

Brown and agile child, nothing draws me to you,
Everything pulls away from me here in the noon.
You are the delirious youth of bee,
The drunkedness of the wave, the power of the wheat.

My somber heart seeks you always
I love your happy body, your rich, soft voice.
Dusky butterfly, sweet and sure
Like the wheatfiled, the sun, the poppy, and the water.

The Flesh & The Spirit

The Flesh and The Spirit

by Anne Bradstreet

In secret place where once I stood
Close by the Banks of Lacrim flood,
I heard two sisters reason on
Things that are past and things to come.
One Flesh was call'd, who had her eye
On worldly wealth and vanity;
The other Spirit, who did rear
Her thoughts unto a higher sphere.
"Sister," quoth Flesh, "what liv'st thou on
Nothing but Meditation?
Doth Contemplation feed thee so
Regardlessly to let earth go?
Can Speculation satisfy
Notion without Reality?
Dost dream of things beyond the Moon
And dost thou hope to dwell there soon?
Hast treasures there laid up in store
That all in th' world thou count'st but poor?
Art fancy-sick or turn'd a Sot
To catch at shadows which are not?
Come, come. I'll show unto thy sense,
Industry hath its recompence.
What canst desire, but thou maist see
True substance in variety?
Dost honour like? Acquire the same,
As some to their immortal fame;
And trophies to thy name erect
Which wearing time shall ne'er deject.
For riches dost thou long full sore?
Behold enough of precious store.
Earth hath more silver, pearls, and gold
Than eyes can see or hands can hold.
Affects thou pleasure? Take thy fill.
Earth hath enough of what you will.
Then let not go what thou maist find
For things unknown only in mind."

Spirit.

"Be still, thou unregenerate part,
Disturb no more my settled heart,
For I have vow'd (and so will do)
Thee as a foe still to pursue,
And combat with thee will and must
Until I see thee laid in th' dust.
Sister we are, yea twins we be,
Yet deadly feud 'twixt thee and me,
For from one father are we not.
Thou by old Adam wast begot,
But my arise is from above,
Whence my dear father I do love.
Thou speak'st me fair but hat'st me sore.
Thy flatt'ring shews I'll trust no more.
How oft thy slave hast thou me made
When I believ'd what thou hast said
And never had more cause of woe
Than when I did what thou bad'st do.
I'll stop mine ears at these thy charms
And count them for my deadly harms.
Thy sinful pleasures I do hate,
Thy riches are to me no bait.
Thine honours do, nor will I love,
For my ambition lies above.
My greatest honour it shall be
When I am victor over thee,
And Triumph shall, with laurel head,
When thou my Captive shalt be led.
How I do live, thou need'st not scoff,
For I have meat thou know'st not of.
The hidden MAnnea I do eat;
The word of life, it is my meat.
My thoughts do yield me more content
Than can thy hours in pleasure spent.
Nor are they shadows which I catch,
Nor fancies vain at which I snatch
But reach at things that are so high,
Beyond thy dull Capacity.
Eternal substance I do see
With which inriched I would be.
Mine eye doth pierce the heav'ns and see
What is Invisible to thee.
My garments are not silk nor gold,
Nor such like trash which Earth doth hold,
But Royal Robes I shall have on,
More glorious than the glist'ring Sun.
My Crown not Diamonds, Pearls, and gold,
But such as Angels' heads infold.
The City where I hope to dwell,
There's none on Earth can parallel.
The stately Walls both high and trong
Are made of precious Jasper stone,
The Gates of Pearl, both rich and clear,
And Angels are for Porters there.
The Streets thereof transparent gold
Such as no Eye did e're behold.
A Crystal River there doth run
Which doth proceed from the Lamb's Throne.
Of Life, there are the waters sure
Which shall remain forever pure.
Nor Sun nor Moon they have no need
For glory doth from God proceed.
No Candle there, nor yet Torch light,
For there shall be no darksome night.
From sickness and infirmity
Forevermore they shall be free.
Nor withering age shall e're come there,
But beauty shall be bright and clear.
This City pure is not for thee,
For things unclean there shall not be.
If I of Heav'n may have my fill,
Take thou the world, and all that will."

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How to Stop Porn Addiction

How to Stop Porn Addiction – One Powerful Technique to Help You Stop Watching Porn

From feedtherightwolf.org, Monday, May 17th, 2010 at 8:22 am  

Do you or some you love wants to know how to stop porn addiction (or any other addictive behavior for that matter)? The answer is simple but not easy. You need to teach your subconscious mind to respond to cravings in a new, healthy way.
What I am about to share with you does work. I am a recovering porn addict. Three years ago, event though I made a decision to stop, I couldn’t go a week without watching pornography or masturbating. In the past 3 years I was able to stop watching porn for periods ranging from 3-9 months at a time. And I have not masturbated in over 2.5 years.

I never though that porn addiction is real, but after reading the info on this site I now truly understand it. This site is beyond awesome and amazing… it really explains what and why I am going through right now. Anonymous

I am not here to tell you what you should  or shouldn’t do with your life. But I think that techniques that I used to stop porn addiction, could be used to make lasting change in all areas of our lives.
In the following article I share my struggles with pornography and what I did to break free. For more in depth version I recommend our Free Recovery Course.
The article is organized in 8 major parts. In parts 1-3 I share my understanding of porn craving. In part 4 I share a very powerful technique that allowed me to stop porn addiction. And in parts 5-8 I list some tips for long term recovery.
1. Pornography Is Not Just a Bad Habit!
A first major component in my own recovery was an understanding that pornography viewing was not just a bad habit. It was an obsessive compulsive cycle (see Figure 1 below) from which I was not able to break free. It usually started with an unwanted sexual thought that I would try to avoid for as long as I could.

Figure 1. Obsessive Compulsive Cycle of Pornography Addiction

Unfortunately, trying NOT to think about something never really worked for me, and eventually I would get to a point where thoughts would get so intense that I couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. Then I would go back to the only way that I knew to make sexual thoughts temporarily go away – watching pornography and masturbating.
After sexual acting out I would slowly come back to my senses and realize what have happened. I would feel guilt for being so weak and giving in and I would swear to never do it again!
Unfortunately over time I would find sexual thoughts coming back, and since I didn’t know how to handle them in a healthy way, the whole cycle would repeat itself.
Clearly fighting my sexual desires only made them come back stronger and faster, and I began to rely more on pornography and masturbation to help me get a temporary relieve.
Eventually this cycle got completely out of control to the point where I would have to spending most of my day watching porn. My brain got so used to regular imagery that I would have to seek out really hard core pornography in order to temporary satisfy my desires, and allow me to return to my normal state.
In other words, I found that the more I fed my porn addiction, the stronger it got.
2. No Craving Can Last Forever!
The second component that I learn was an understanding that any human feeling, including cravings, cannot last forever. In actuality any physiological impulse is shaped like a bell curve (see figure 2 below).
At first cravings starts out slow but grow exponentially until they get really intense. Somewhere along this path most of addicts would end up giving in. As the result they get used to an idea that they could never get past their cravings and that their cravings will eventually get so strong, that they will have no choice but to give in.

Figure 2. Craving Curve

In actuality human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or craving will decrease.
So the trick to stopping porn addiction is to learn to ride out cravings; to master a skill to stay away long enough for cravings to go away. This of course sounds simple, but as many addicts know it is not as easy to do.
Below I am going to share a technique with you that have helped me do just that. But first let me show you a few simple physiological signals that can be used to measure how strong our craving really is.
3. Physiological Signs of a Strong Craving
It is important to know certain physiological changes that begin to take place in human body when they experience strong desire to watch porn and/or masturbate compressively. Such changes include:

•     Rapid Pulse
•     Increased blood pressure
•     Dilated Eyeballs
•     Shallow Breath

It is important to know these symptoms because this knowledge can provide us with information needed to help us on our way to recovery from porn addiction. Let me explain.
We can learn our pulse rate during normal state and then use this information to recognize if our pulse is getting too high. Therefore pulse can serve as an easy to measure indicator that we are about to get out of control. At the same time we can use pulse measurement to let us know that we are exiting the danger zone and that the physical craving begins to decrease.
Another very important component that is easy to observe is our breath. Breath is the only subconscious bodily function that we can consciously control. Think about it! You cannot control your blood pressure, you cannot control you pulse, but you can control your breath. You can take slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that you can have a direct effect on your subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to stopping porn addiction!
4. Killing the Craving
So let’s move right into action. The technique that I used to help me overcome the craving is called Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP and is generally used for Obsessive Compulsive disorder and other psychological problems. It’s been around for a very long time, tons of people use it, and it is very effective. I’ve originally learned this technique from a book called “Kill the Craving” which uses ERP to help people with alcohol and drug addictions, and I slightly modified the approach to help me overcome porn addiction.
The key idea of this technique is to systematicallyexpose yourself to situations that would usually cause you to feel a strong craving and practice responding to this craving in a healthy way.  This practice allows our subconscious mind to learn a healthy response mechanism by the time we are faced with a real craving.
Over time you will learn that cravings do not rule your life, and that there is a way for you to ride out a craving and return to your normal self without having to act out. And the high that you get from feeling proud of yourself will be much stronger than any high that you could possibly get from porn addiction.
ERP works in the following way. You first identify a trigger, and as soon as you feel the physiological response from your body, you measure your pulse rate, which you would likely find to be a bit higher than your normal pulse. After that you immediately shift into a controlled breathing exercise to calm your subconscious mind. Next you review your personal motivation statements, to remind yourself of all the positive things that you can bring into your life if you were not to act out. Then you measure your pulse again, and note the difference. Last but not least, you follow up with an act of self care. Let’s look at those steps a little more closely.
Step 1 – Identify or imagine the triggering situation.
While ERP is very effective with helping you overcome a real trigger, it will not be as helpful unless you have already practiced it continuously before facing the real danger. Therefore I recommend a commitment of at least 30 days with complete ERP practice being done the first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
A quick note on sources of trigger is due here. The book that I’ve mentioned earlier “Kill the Craving” recommended alcohol and drug addicts to look at photographs of their addictive substances in order to generate an addictive response. This approach, however, did not seem practical for porn addiction, because looking at addictive images was precisely what I was trying to avoid.
I solved this conflict by creating a strong mental image of myself in a triggering situation instead of looking at actual photography. For example I would imagine myself being alone with computer, or passing by a magazine stand at the store.
Our brain is not able to tell the difference between a vivid mental image and a real life situation, and will produce a similar physiological response. That way Exposure and Response Prevention techniques can be practiced in a safe environment, without having to expose yourself to the real danger.
If at any time during the day you begging to feel a strong craving and a desire to act out, follow up with an extra ERP exercise. Personally, at first I found myself doing 3-5 ERP exercises per day, but soon was able to get through most of my days with only 1 or 2 exercises.
Step 2 – Measure your pulse rate as soon as you observe your body begin to change.
It is easier to measure your pulse for 15 seconds and multiply it times four. Follow this link to download a quick reference chart that will help you to quickly convert your pulse rate and keep the record of your progress.
It is likely that measuring your pulse rate may feel like a burden at first, but after a few days of ERP practice you will get used to it and it will become very easy.
Also, after 5 to 10 days of regular ERP practice you may notice that your pulse rate will not change as much as it did at first from you merely imagining a triggering situation. Please do not use this as an excuse to go look for more triggering stuff. After all it is the sole purpose of ERP practice to train your body not to react addictively to triggers. Therefore, take the decrease pulse rate as a sign of progress, and continue your practice for at least 30 days to allow new habit to form. (It takes about 30 days of repeating a certain task for human beings to form a habit)
Step 3 – Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.
After you record your pulse rate, follow up with a controlled breathing exercise. Simply, breathe in for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 10 seconds, and breathe out for 10 second. Repeat it 10 times.
I use my fingers that I keep resting on my knees to keep the count of my breaths, tapping each finger for one of ten counts. That way I can free up my mind from counting and concentrate on breathing.
Remember that our breathing is the only subconscious function that we can control through our conscious effort. Do not overlook this step.
Step 4 – Review Personal Motivational Statements.
Next you review your personal statements. You will have to do a little homework on this. Just sit down and write down all of the reasons why you want to get sober. Why do you want to stop watching porn? What positive changes would it bring into your life? What negative consequences will you be able to avoid?
Answers to these questions must be able to touch the bottom of your soul. When I read mine I can literally feel the Goosebumps! That is how badly you need to want to stop this addiction and get the good things in your life. If you are not going to feel the Goosebumps and if it is not going to touch your soul, it is just not going to be strong enough to make you choose life instead of porn when you will be faced with real temptation.
Some of the statements that I used were: My dreams of having a wife and a child will come true if I walk away. I will be stronger and more in control if I walk away. I will regain my self-respect and dignity if I walk away. My family will be proud of me if I walk away. I will be able to look into people’s eyes, and feel proud of myself if I walk away. You can download 30 sample stamens here.
I had each of my reasons written on 3 by 5 cards, which I would read out loud to myself during each ERP practice. Cards allowed me to be doing (i.e. moving the cards), reading and hearing the message at the same time. Human beings learn the best by combination of action, seeing and hearing. (We learn even better by teaching something that we already know to somebody else. So when you get a handle on ERP practice yourself, try to teach it to another addict).
Step 5 – Re-measure your pulse rate.
When you first begin your ERP practice, you might notice that your pulse rates remain the same between steps 2 and 5. Sometimes you may even find it going up a little. It is normal. Over time you will learn to decrease your pulse rate, and you will be able to bring yourself back to your normal state. Ideally you should be able to decrease your pulse rate from its highest point by about 4 to 8 bits per minute.
Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, overtime you will notice that your pulse rate in step 2 will not be getting as high as it did at first in reaction to the triggers. This will be a sign of your progress.
Step 6 – Follow up with an act of self care.
This is also a very important step. You have to do something good for yourself. Preferable you need to get out of the house.
For my first 30 days I would go out and jog after my morning practice. And if I felt the craving again during the day, I would do another ERP exercise and follow up with a different act of self care, like cooking a healthy meal, journaling, or taking a nap. After my evening practice my act of self care was simply to go to bed early. You can view a list of 67 healthy things to do for fun.
5. One Technique is Not Enough!
I want to share one short story with you that helped me to put everything together and stop watching porn for good. Exposure and Response Prevention technique is great, but I think it would not have gotten the job done if it was used alone. Anyway, here is the story:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So I thought what can I do to feed the right wolf? The answer was not as obvious as it might seem.
Over time I came to a conclusion that if I took a good care of myself, my good wolf will be stronger, and my bad wolf will be weaker. Therefore in addition to the daily practice of Exposure and Response Prevention, I committed to the following rules:

• 8 hours of sleep a day
• Eating Healthy (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day)
• Drink plenty of water (at least 8 glasses a day)
• Journaling about my triggers
• Meditating
• Morning and Evening Prayer
• Avoiding Dangerous Situations (think acronym HALT)
• Hungry
• Angry
• Lonely
• Tired

6. Warning!
Soon after you’ll stop porn addiction, you will become able to get in touch with your true feelings. While this might sound like a good thing, you could find those true feelings to be unpleasant.
Chances are you’ve used your addiction for a very long time to escape discomforts of life, and when you take away this crutch, you might feel the full weight of your past mistakes.
Just realize that this pain is a temporary. Use this pain as a guide to identify what areas of your life need improvements, so you can face them and get the life that you truly deserve.

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Love That Never Fails Even When You Don't Feel It

Your Love Never Fails
Lyrics by Jesus Culture

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/jesus-culture-your-love-never-fails-lyrics.html ]
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone here in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good

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Jesus and Blackness

“True peace is not merely the absence of some negative force—tension, confusion or war; it is the presence of some positive force—justice, good will and brotherhood”

--Dr. Martin Luther King

So I'm studying Black Theology, much of which is new age-y and pluralistic, yet, dare I say it does often ring true. Black theology says the Bible should be read from the perspective of the oppressed, and well, black folks are oppressed. 

Now here's where most folks get off.

“Is this gonna be another black and white thing?” Not really, its more like a victim victimizer thing. Unfortunately, the way the majority culture (in any setting) reads the Bible is to exonerate itsself, making efforts at reconciliation seem stupid and pointless, as in “Jesus is all peace and stuff, so stop protesting and get peaceful.” Really? Consider Jesus for a moment.

Jesus was a Jewish man living under the oppressive system of a powerful Roman people. Jews were consigned to the lowest positions and occupations available, in the worst areas available. Sound familiar? Their only real power was that which they had over each other, therefore religion was power. That's why the Pharisees and Sadducees hated Jesus, for He was in the position to disrupt the little authority they had (John 11:48), I'm sayin' they were so low on the totem pole, they feared Rome would take their nation (check the verse.)

So what's the point?

God is the God of all. God is the God of maligned and oppressed. Christianity, as it is both lived and preached should concern itsself with the liberation of all from tyrannical power systems wherever they exist, in all facets in life, whether that look like police brutality, abusive immigration polices or predatory lending practices.

Eternal life doesn't start in the sweet hereafter, it starts now, in the person of Jesus Christ. And He said

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
--Luke 4:18-21

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Owner of Sky and Sabbath

Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath

At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. But when the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, “Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath.” He said to them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him to eat nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests? Or have you not read in the Law how on the Sabbath the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath and are guiltless? 

 

The Pharisees overlook the heart of God for their rules and regulations. The biblical justification for their prohibitions didn't matter when they decided to use Scripture contrary to its purpose. Scripture, no matter how well referenced, was never intended to hurt other people. 

It can be somewhat fashionable to hang the long-dead Pharisees times over for their legalistic approach to God and Scripture, but can we not also be responsible for alienating and chastising those that fail to conform to our standards? Heaven forbid, someone with the wrong fashion sense walk into some of our churches Sunday morning. Then they might face our wrath.

In referencing David, Jesus shares a small bit of God's heart with us: it is for His people, His creation.

God's first law for humankind was that of love, joy, purpose and blessing (Gen. 1:28), nothing has changed. Jesus was concerned when David was hungry and no matter what we think, God understood Him breaking religion to feed himself and his mates.

Notice also, how the Pharisees had obviously not considered Christ as being worthy of honor. Old Testament law had essentially allowed the temple priest to break the Sabbath by sacrificing animals and doing other work that day(Numbers 28:9-10). They held up their religious leaders above God Himself, an accurate description of their hearts.

May God always hold the greatest place in our hearts and lives.
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Get the Rest You Need

Come to Me, I Will Give You Rest 
 

At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children;”

The Kingdom of God is for the humble and the simple. This is not to say Jesus wants His people uneducated, but rather teachable, willing to receive rebuke and correction, which is an attribute of the wise(Proverbs 9:8). The Bible (in that verse) even shares with us that the wise person will love you more when you rebuke them. So it is with children.

Children recognize they are just discovering this world out. A recent collegiate study found that young children will ask near 100 questions daily! That is 100 times of admitting they don't know all the answers. Are we still willing to put ourselves on the spot like this?

For some reason, the idea is that the older and more knowledgeable one becomes, the less they need direction,or others, for that matter. The Kingdom of God is not for such as these. It is for people, whom regardless of age, recognize that while they may understand some, there's so much they don't get.

We are called to be eternal learners.

All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 

 

Jesus is the only way to God. Jesus is God, there are no substitutes or alternatives, one must either choose Christ or reject God. We needn't search for a savior. He has come.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 

Coming to Christ needn't be a tiresome experience that encourages lethargic surrender, as though we'd been beaten into submission by a higher power, rather an incredible relief akin to an embrace by a friend long-missed.

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Instructions for Being Naked

Do you ever think about how Adam and Eve felt when the shame of their nakedness drove them to cover up with leaves and hide from God? (Genesis 3:7-8)

They possessed everything anyone could ever want: perfect unity with God, perfect unity with each other and paradise for a backyard, but temptation got the better of them didn't it?

Sometimes I wonder, would it make a difference if I was able to go back in time and explain to the first family what the consequences of their sin would be? Whatever the answer to that hypothetical question, as their children, we are prone to sell our futures and prostitute ourselves for lesser fruits.

We regularly seek to cover our shame.

Perhaps that's why we fuss and fret when our employment is taken from us, our significant others abandon us, and our lives refuse to follow the script we've drawn up...we are left naked, without something to hide behind.

To be naked is to be vulnerable, without protection, exposed to the world for what we really are.

I felt so naked, for the last year I've watched myself become this borderline psychotic, neurotic mess. Leaving behind  a favorite church, good friends, a good reputation and a good job have done a number on me (and still are). I've been tempted to give into sin patterns I  reckon I'd long ditched, made excuses for causing others harm, all the while attempting to hide who I really was behind any "leaves" nearby. Sometimes the worst thing someone could call me was godly, because I knew, I, Jean-Marc was not that. But thank God it is not up to me.

We are asked to clothe ourselves in Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14), this means we seek not to be wrapped up in ourselves, work, even other people; He should be the first thing people notice about us.

Easier said then done, I know, but no matter where you are, we all start his journey the same way: “Jesus, please do this through me”

May God teach us to wrap ourselves in Him.

Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

--Romans 13:11-14

In Him,

Jean-Marc

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Who Can Make Them Understand?

Matthew 11 Continued...

Woe to Unrepentant Cities

Christ had done the work of an evangelist. Imagine, the Son of God, preaching to His creation! Yet they were not all receptive, see the importance of changing their ways, or believe that God knew better for their lives, leaving Jesus Christ to accomplished his many works to great apathy.

Some people imagine the days of Christ's earth ministry as a time when sin should have been obvious and therefore repentance easy, but these folks needed faith like we need it.

When someone doesn't want to believe, they won't believe. 

Tell someone God touched your eyes and gave you sight, they'll doubt you were blind; show them the teacher healing the woman with heavy bleeding, and they'll claim it were coincidence or worse yet, a show.

God must help us believe in the unseen, in spite of ourselves.

In John 20:29, Jesus encourages us:

“Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

It gets hard sometimes, to believe in what we have yet to see. Some of us haven't seen lame men walk, demons cast out and frail limbs restored, however by the gift of faith we can (Ephesians 2:8). We need only accept it.

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