I don't doubt God often.
But when I do, its usually in
connection to disconnection.
Have you ever been stricken dumb by
loneliness?
It seems to be one of the few
sensations that force my mind back to adolescence or rather make me
an adolescent.
I typically find people deal with lack
of inclusion two ways: either embracing it deeply, wrapping the
darkness about themselves like a cheap blanket, or denying its
existence. The latter are those whom never have a lack of activities
in which to engage, obsessed with the heat of other bodies, any and
all invitations become their own, but what they really fear is
themselves, their minds. All about them must be noise: ticking,
flicking, blaring, loud, deafening, to mask true thought. They fear
what their brains will do, once freed from shushing sounds, from
headphones, from hand-held lightboxes, from far away voices yelling
and fuzzing into their ears.
But if one ever learned to listen to
the silence, they might here God.
He speaks through the guttural drops of
anxiety, pleading with us to pray, especially at the moments we least
care to.
No one in Christ is ever truly alone.
“See to it that you do not refuse him
[God] who speaks.”
- Hebrews 12:25
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