Thursday, May 3, 2012

To the Guys Smoking Night Herbs Outside My House


tomato orange basket


Part 1

They're sittin' in a circle on their driveway, puffin' away white clouds into the night sky. You can see Cumulonimbus exclusively next to my house. This is just another day in a minority neighborhood.

“Oh great,”I mutter under breath exhausted at their sight, and I just came from an awesome class at church, my thoughts moan.

“I won't even look at them,” and upon that note exit my car, shut the door behind me, pop the trunk, retrieve my school bags from it, slam the trunk shut and scuttle up the familiar brick driveway.

Halfway, to the door, I consider what we talked about earlier in class: what in life makes us feel acceptance, that on which we pride ourselves—all the concepts were so illuminating.

And then I asked a dangerous question concerning my loser neighbors:Why can't I stand them? Sure, the inconsiderate parties until dawn and the ridiculously loud music throughout the day don't help...but is that why I disdain the sight of them? Then truth tagged my brain like a toddler off Ritalin: I dislike them because they remind me of everything I'm not doing.

I've dropped gospel-bombs on that driveway and their impact has been unimpressive, thank God for that, because if they actually showed interest in the gospel, I might have to befriend them.

Oops.

Part 2

I'm a sunny person by disposition but my family has historically struggled with depression (even that was hard to type). So being who I am, I've made it my crusade to pull them out of it.

It's like I'll have these moments when I think I've got a good hold on them before they're completely consumed by this pit, and then they slip right through my phalanges.

“Why do I feel so bad about them feeling low?” The second hard question of the same night. “Because I find my acceptance in being their savior.” God pats me on the head.

“You couldn't save them if you wanted to,” He explains.
“But...you might drop them Lord” I justify.
“That's where you're wrong, I do the heavy lifting, you're here for support. He ends the conversation, there will be no discussion.

I will have my faith in God's strength tested over the next few months.

Please pray for me.

Part 3

By the second watch of the night, I'm humbled out, like a pup put in its basket.
My cell phone vibrates violently.

An email from another publication to which I've submitted my writing: “We would like to thank you...,” your typical denial letter: way too long. They don't seem to get that a two page long “No” is still a “No.” They could've just saved us both time.

I reply back to the e-bag man: How could my submission be improved upon—don't even think that's grammatically correct.

He graciously responds, though my instinct is not to respond with grace, but I do, by God's grace.

To build your life upon men, means your comfort moves when they do.

But God is not comfort: He is more than that.

God is the soundtrack of grace that is to play in ours ears each day, reminding us that big good things are coming.

For all the “no's” and rebuke I received last night, I received three big BIG “Yes's.”
To write them out for you here, right now, would be foolish, but, essentially, EACH of life's major questions have been answered in one night.

And that is the kind of God we serve, one that makes pleasure out of our pain.

You aren't going to drown, you're just in the perfect place to consume the glorious flavor of God's new wine.

And it is Good.

“Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons.Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.”

-John 2:6-11

In Him,

Jean-Marc


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