Sunday, May 6, 2012

Stop Loving:Learning to Kick the People Habit


black and white men

There is dark side to love, its rarely talked about, but its there. In Christianity there is a tendency to love things into oblivion, though we don't always know why or how that looks.

One day in high school, I awoke to find my older brother asleep on the couch downstairs. My home, having always been a shelter and community center of sorts, always gave me plenty of random roommates. I regularly found myself sleeping on the floor, the couch was a lucky break.

I made my way into the kitchen with a few others, right next to where he slept, out cold, the typical mean-spirited teenage banter ensued. We weren't aware of what we were saying, therefore we could not be offended, but he arose, incensed, on our behalf apparently.

“You guys need to love!” The angry words were hard to decipher from the grog of recent dreaming. “You guys need to learn how to love!” Power so richly emanated from his fists, a fireball would have been overlooked. “You're so angry and mean!” His knuckles pounded what his words failed to express, the wall again suffering for our familial rage. We laughed about this one for years. Its truth only now touches me.

He felt half crazy: another person, another day.

“I can't stand them anymore,” said the young disheveled artist as we scurried the city streets, he had to be more extroverted than I was. “I like them, then I get them to like me,” he sounded like...a people addict...like me, “then they love me, they invite me everywhere,” he looked miserable, “and then...,” I waited patiently, “I can't stand them anymore.” His world was so dependent on what others said, it drove him mad.

Dependency is real, it occurs right at the moment we'd rather die than offed someone, rather smile than speak out, rather condone than correct. Its no fun. One learns to seek approval at the hands of people, like a pup seeks kibble. Its demeaning. And its not who Jesus was.

The same Jesus that asked us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39) also turned over the tables of thieves at His Father's House (John 2:15).

The solution is to love in context of the Gospel, to express grace and truth with balanced strength, to speak softly when comfort is needed, but pound your fists when its time for folks to wake up.

May we be prepared to hug or kick at all times.

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
-Matthew 10:16 

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