A Poem to Forget Tomorrow

How unfair to be a man on this earth;

To attempt to dam the flow of a woman's tears to no success;

how unfair.

How horrible it is to need a blow to the face to feel alive;

To be a grown man searching for the hands of an invisible father,

how unfair.

It is no fun to forget how to make tears when you need them;

To appear stoic when you have been raised with amnesia,

how unfair.

It is tiring to repeatedly play the bull in the china shop;

To strangle your strength for fear of scaring others,

how unfair.

The worst thing to say to a young boy: “life is not fair”;

To masquerade childish anger as adult wisdom,

how unfair.

Perhaps the world would be more fair if the children raised the parents;

Perhaps that is why some procreate;

To enact revenge on all that is unfair.

How unfair.

Be Your Calling

 "whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God."
-1 Corinthians 3:22-33

“Waiting for the unexpected seems contradictory but today I find it something worth practicing. Perhaps today is the day when everything changes, or perhaps it is the day when I am reminded of how predictable things are”

-ME, January 20, 2012

I will save you the trouble of deciphering poetry and respond, yes, it was about a young woman.

Life has a way of weakening our expectations: Things go so far and no farther. But once in a while we get a chance to surprise ourselves with the chances we take. How exciting it is to try and fail epically at the risks of life. It sounds cliché, but you are alive today for a reason, so live. If you have read anything I have written, you should be able to predict this line: You live to glorify God. When you glorify God, you make His awesomeness clear to those around you. Considering that, I find few greater ways to glorify our Creator than to live lives that show how great of a gift this life is.

Church is a great time to connect with the body of Christ and to refocus for the week ahead, but you were not saved or are not being saved to sit in a church service at 9:30 AM the picture is bigger than that.

So often, folks miscategorize the Christian life as not doing things. Many times (and I share the blame in this), we are simply marked as people that do not smoke, do not drink, do not watch porn, do not curse and do not like dirty jokes. Now do not get me wrong when I say that godly discipline is a heavenly gift, but let us not mark ourselves by that in which we do not partake, and start glorifying God through the great things God does through us. We are lovers, comforters, comedians, fighters, friends and adventurers. We comfort the discouraged and downtrodden, protect the disenfranchised and invite the lost to drink from the fountain life.

We are the body of Christ.

The temple of the Holy Spirit.

People of the Book.

Saints by grace, living by faith.

We are Christians.

We are the children of God.

We are the people of God.

And I would not choose to live any other way.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

Am I the Only One?

God of the Open Sky,

Will you smile on me?

I am a rotten child,

in spiritual poverty.

God of the Open Sky,

How I long to know,

the feeling of total love,

Without work of my own.

When I do stumble,

When I want to fall,

When I find it hard sometimes to pray at all,

God of the Open Sky,

hear my plea ,

and save me from everything,

inside of me.

I attend a birthday gathering, some normal folk are there; unbelievers. Is that how all people must be defined? The party is a surprise at the gym. I am driving after sunset, down the streets of this town. The light from the street lamps bounce in succession off the car's paint. I think he is a Christian—and by his demeanor, you could tell. My Spirit doth testify. Sharp face, innocent attitude, fat: nonexistent. He said he was graduating from a Christian school.

Before the drive, before the turn of the key—I see them, man and woman, kissing in the darkness. They stroll and pass the car before I back up. The woman seems more contented at the time of the kiss then after. “How lovely,” I think, still delirious from my workout. The air, the unbelievers, the innocence, it hit me: “Are Christians people that believe the world can get better?” A deep question for the dark drive home but I probe again, “Are they?”

I suddenly remember how uncomfortable it had been to be surrounded by individuals of unknown affiliations. “What is wrong with me?”

I remember learning to be a warrior, long before the workout with torn black tees that stick to my chest from sweat. There were always near ten of us. Men gathered in an upper room somewhere in the night of New York City. Men I always felt less holy than. They preached on trains and to strangers. I did some but not to their humble fame. I watched video after video, learning to feel bad about who I was. Videos of men snapping their fingers: “People are dying without Jesus,” men warning against the dangers of media mind control: “watch for the third eye,” men speaking on the power of succubi: “they are most powerful at night, look in the mirror.” People needed to be saved in this city; why wasn't I saving them? “What is wrong with me?”

I am in the car: are Christians just waiting for the world to end? I ignore this question and go back to the first one, to the kissing. “Would it still have been beautiful if they were cheating on their spouses?” I inquire of the air. Thank God no one answers. I start again from another angle: “Are Christians people that believe that the world can get better?” “Well,” I begin, “in order for the world to get better, one must admit that it is currently in an undesirable state” Point:Jesus. The rest, from here seems to fall into an apologetic sandwich (yes, I am hungry). “If the world is not in a good state on its own, then it can not do it by itsself: people can not be good on their own; just look around.” I continue, “In order for their to be change, a third party must be introduced, one that surpasses the limitations of the human condition.” Now for the wrap-up: “enter the Holy Spirit, which changes us from the inside- out, made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.”

Christians are people that not only hope for a better world, they attempt through the power of God to change its people for the better of us all.

Point: Jesus.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

The Christian Hypocrite's Meeting Has Been Cancelled

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

-John 8: 31-32

alétheia: truth

Original Word: ἀλήθεια, ας, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Transliteration: alétheia
Phonetic Spelling: (al-ay'-thi-a)
Short Definition: truth
Definition: truth, but not merely truth as spoken; truth of idea, reality, sincerity, truth in the moral sphere, divine truth revealed to man, straightforwardness.

• Strong's concordance from biblos.com

So there I was about to speak the other Sunday, two before I turned 26 (on January 23^rd). One of the young ladies from the youth group introduced me as “Pastor Jean-Marc,” and I was on. I have to tell you that I could imagine at least 50 other places I would have liked to be. I had been here a number of times before for my monthly appearance to a group of folks I felt could have cared less about what I wanted to share. “This week, we're going to talk about something that is controversial in the church...a usually controversial topic, and its about fun...the topic is fun.” I was dead in the water, I just had to struggle a little bit to affirm that I was actually dead. “Where's my preparation?” I thought, “all those cool and hip references I had planned to use?” They would not come, they just sat there in the recess of my mind, as I was left with was myself: the annoyed university student that had not felt connected to anything for weeks—people, humanity, God, family, my dreams.

I made it out,bodily alive and determined to forget the tragedy I had just endured—at least I tried. “I don't know what happened to you Jean-Marc,” responded a relative,“You did something different.” And then I remembered what I had immediately decided before speaking: I was going to talk with them honestly. Honesty I did show, just not the kind I wanted. I just forgot what my Bible said, y'know, through that dude Jesus:

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks”

-Matthew 12:34

Considering all that and the words and stuff above, I can not fake it...and call myself a maturing Christ follower.

My father is seventy plus years old, and today he told me the most profound thing I ever heard him say when I talked about the topic of truthfulness in the community of faith, “I condemn myself before I condemn other people.” This guy is a veteran pastor, that regularly starts conversations with: “The reason God is not working in your life is because you lack faith” Hypocrisy is not new to my family experience (Oops I should not have said that).

What? It is like many of us get saved by grace to become self-sufficient. Please tell me how this makes sense. And that is where the disconnect comes for many of us in our Christian experience, we hardly admit to God (let alone other people) that we are having a hard time connecting and trusting Him and His invisible deity self.

The book I am currently reading, “TruthFaced” by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and John Lynch, talks about, Pleasing God Vs. Trusting God. They give a great picture of the experience many of us face in our goal to please through our own great efforts:

“Welcome to the Room of Good Intentions.”

Oh yes. I like the ring of this name. I also like being perceived as someone who is well intended. “Well thanks,” I answer. “I think I've found my home. How are you​?”

The hostess pauses for a moment and then reaches into her purse to pull out a mask bearing a guarded expression and a thin smile. She puts it on and answers, “Fine. Just fine. And you?”

The entire room gets suddenly quiet, awaiting my answer. “Well, umm, thanks for asking. I'm kind of struggling with some things right now, some areas don't seem to be in keeping with who I know I'm supposed to be. I'm not really sure I'm doing well on a lot of—” The hostess cuts me off, putting her finger to her lips and handing me a similar mask. I'm not quite sure what to do. I don't really want to put it on, but others in the room are smiling and motioning for me to do so. I want so much to be accepted here that I slowly put it on.

And now everything feels different. I am quickly overcome with the realization that less self- revelation would be a smart game plan here. I realize that no one in this room wants to hear about my struggles, pain, or doubt. If I want to be welcome here, I'd better keep my cards closer to my vest and give the appearance of sufficiency. So, I slowly and carefully say the words, “Actually, I'm fine. I'm doing just fine. Thanks.” Satisfied, everyone in the room turns back to their conversations.(pp. 38-39)

How do you feel? Are you as tired as I was: a hamster running on the wheel of attempting the appearance of perfection. Please get off, you're not fooling anyone and most importantly you're not fooling God.

I dare you to insert honesty in your relationship with God and people. Some folks can not stand to have real conversations that do not end with high-fives and fist bumps. I was there once, in a church situation where everyone was “fine”—so I got new friends.

God loves the real you, not the one you pretend to be.

And if you're willing to be real with me, I could always use some honest Christians to talk to.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

A Smile You Can Trust

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God..."
-John 14:1


Sometimes we allow our habits to get the better of us. We learn to trigger certain behaviors after A or B happens. And it can all seem so hopeless, can't it?


How many times can one person really believe that  no one cares for them? 


 They walk about with this plastered smile as if they were fooling someone.


We (starting with  me) need to un-learn some of our norms. Some of us are so volcanic and so scared to offend a soul, that we just erupt on the inside. At that point, the one that end up hurting us is us. And somehow others are responsible for how we feel?


The fact is that if God occupied more thought space in our mind, if we trusted Him more, we would have less time to consider everything  that others think. And the sad truth about it is that other probably think about us 50x less than we think they do.


Trust in God, not people (they will let you down and can be unpredictable). Trust in God.


In Him,

Jean-Marc

A Wake Up Call for Joy in the Morning

Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness
-John 12:44-46


I live in a world just like yours, except mine is a little different, my point of view is effected by things that you may or may not have experienced. I have a past but thank God that in Him I can have a future.


Some folks don't see it that way and I can understand. Part of my penance for the time being is to spend a great deal of it with a depressive. Days are spent watching them shuffle about from here to there, as if their feet just decided to do their walking for them. They sit alone sometimes, they drink tea sometimes and talk very little. I try to talk about the hope of God with them, and its like "Yeah, O.K."  I wish I could shake them and let them feel this thing burning in my heart for a greater tomorrow and future

— a real desire for God (am I perfect? Dude, if you knew me, you would not have to ask). But my activity is limited to their external: I can just speak at them, though God can reach into them, adjust that soul button.

So, for those of you carousing(I was going to write parousing, though it is not a word, apparently; very angry about that) through life in a sort of lackadaisical funk, I have been there and I say this with all the love I can muster: WAKE UP!

You are loved beyond comprehension! Do you know how much God loves you? He walked over to a cross, understanding the pain of asphyxiation and the complete humility it would take to become a spitting target for creatures millions of grades below Him on the food chain and said, "Yes, please!" "Yes please?" Yes "Yes, please!"  

So next time you deal with that person in your life that cannot see any good inside of their understandingly horrible circumstances, its O.K., pray for them.

And the next time you feel like that discarded and disrespected person that not even the most vile Cretan would associate with (even if your on Facebook with 1056 friends), don't believe the lie. 

Know that you are loved. Remember/Rediscover the cross. 

P.S.--PRAYER STILL GETS ANSWERED:HOLD ON!

In Him,

Jean-Marc

The Open Door of Hope

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming , he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me...and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

-John 10:11-15

What is a more beautiful thing in the world than hope? And what is a more disastrous thing in your world than fear? What does it take to make good men and women cry?

I once sat waiting outside of my middle school for a ride in my family's car. Usually, my would mother show up, but that day, I am thankful that my brother was there for this one specific moment in history. A kid much taller than I, pushed me aside “accidentally” and that is exactly what my brother saw. He was just poetic in his threat to this behemoth of mine, which to him was an ant. The boy shook and from then on, chose to walk on the other side of the sidewalk when I needed to wait for my ride.

Whatever you are running from today, that has you feeling as though it will crush you, is nothing but smoke and mirrors. I can tell you because I have walked through my own house of mirrors for years. Mirrors cannot hurt you they just look that way. I knew another kid, (in middle school again)— who got so scared that he ran into a fun house mirror—I would not recommend it.

Years later, more learned in the deceit of trickery, I found myself staring down an imposter in the face. He thought that a young woman that needed a job would be an easy target—not when she's my sister! I would rather die.

We are the sheep, shepherded by God Himself. Whom shall we fear? What can human beings or Satan do to us (Psalm 118:6)? God laid down His life, not so we would have some new songs to sing in church, but so we would have some new songs to sing on the street, on the stage and in the dark.

Fear does not exist in God's pen. Stay in God's pasture.

In Him,


Jean-Marc

Living And Dying At Once

“Christians are people who are always living and always dying”

-Dr. Robert Crosby

As he [Jesus] went along he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

-John 9:1-3

Imagine, your issues could be used to display the work of God. I don't always believe it all the time. Life is hard most of the time these days and I want the escape hatch I used to have: "Oh, it's just this town" or "The people here stink," but age teaches you that these things are not true. Blame everyone you want, blame your parents if you have the time but ultimately it falls short. Perhaps the point is to get us into the place of  tears being our food day and night (Psalm 42:3) or to the place where we cry, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" (Luke 18:38)

I have been crying for mercy for weeks, but I do not feel large God arms coming to hug me. I have needed comfort for weeks and perhaps...I should stop counting the time. Maybe God has to remove things for my life by killing some of them. Maybe some dreams of mine were inappropriate or unrealistically childish and that's what is happening—fantasies dying until the reality of God remains.

I wish I had all the answers—I don't. I wish I had the right words to say—I won't. But I know God never cared about that. He knew I was incorrect in my thinking, and He has done me the favor of allowing me to discover it by such public means. "Thank you Jesus," I say in the midst of the darkness. Even if my cousin has a demon inside of her, you are the light of the world. You will guide me home.

In Him,

Jean-Marc

I Refuse to Be Caged

Race is the prison of society. I write this with full knowledge of what I write. Race is the boundary which we (meaning the human race), have set up to protect ourselves from division—the reverse Babel, but this imaginary enclosure only serves to make us pine for the freedom from which we restrict ourselves. Perhaps you do not think of yourself as a prisoner, and maybe there was a day when you actually enjoyed God's creation.

I remember freedom, potentials seemed infinite. We played in the sunlight of our glorious youthful naivety. I planted a kiss on Sarah's cheek when she least expected it. Ignorance was bliss, but our ignorance would not be tolerated. We were to learn what everyone else knew—believe in the fables they spread about our differences, under the guise of historical review and accuracy. We gave up our right to play, learning to tolerate one another under the supervision of the politically correct status quo.

I would not likely kiss Sarah now, I have learned lots since then. The heavy hands of history and society push us aside. Adults do not have the option of un-learning, though we can learn to forgive. We can home school ourselves into a new way of thinking. We can sing “Jesus loves the little children” and mean it. If you still have the energy for freeze-tag then I challenge you to stand up and run. Learn to remember our yesterday until it becomes our future. We may leave the cells for which we hold the key. We can still choose to be free.

In Him,

Jean-Marc