Blood in the Circle

"Look, he's bleeding!"

They mused as I stared at the small puddle now lying on the floor, looking as though it were splattered paint – yet it was a part me that been taken, and I vowed that it would never happen again.


It was 4th period and through our coach's intervention, our "class" contained every JV and Varsity football player in the high school usually for the purposes of weightlifting and running plays, but today we would learn a life lesson.


Led to the mens' wrestling room, we were ordered to form a circle of bodies, shoulder-to-shoulder as coach explained the premise of the day's activity:


"It's time to separate the Big Dogs from the puppies" he exhorted,


It was quite simple to grasp: two men in a circle were to do violence to one another at his signal.


"And no biting or punching", he added shortly before selecting combatants.


I was called into the circle with a good friend of mine – we were to battle. Poised to attack and awaiting the whistle, I made the mistake of having considered acting upon the one word farthest from my opponent's mind: mercy, and I would pay dearly for it.


Whistle blown, he immediately tackled me headfirst, dropping me on my spine.


(Now, I will not go into details of the subsequent violence: 1) it is not completely necessary for my point and 2) hazy recollection has shown me that I had apparently chosen to forget a large part of this. However, what I can speak on is how it ended.)


I had given him the upper hand – and he choked me with it. His arms were a vice around my neck and being that he was on my back, there was little option in the way of a counter. I would bleed and
spit up Deuteronomian life long before the whistle blew again.


That day, my friend taught me the most important of the world's lessons I had yet to internalize: "kill or be killed". The person I am is the product of moments like that.


When those in our circle: family, friends and brothers and sisters in Christ draw blood with their words and actions, it is hard to respond correctly or know how to respond at all.


"Dying men tell no lies"
Turn to the beginning of 1 Kings and you will find King David, at the end of his reign, the same David that showed God's mercy to a demon-possessed Saul and united Israel under his leadership.


He has become so advanced in years, he even turns down sex with a young beautiful woman; there are more pressing matters on his mind.


In Chapter 2, David instructs his son Solomon on two individuals he had apparently pardoned earlier during his reign: Shimei son of Gera for cursing and throwing stones and dirt at him and Joab son of Zeruiah, for unnecessary bloodshed.


Now originally, he had done what the best of us have tried to: give up their trespasses to God(2Sam 3:38-39; 2Sam 16:11-12)


But in 1 Kings 2, David tells his son to "act like a man" and have both executed. His advice leaves no room for misinterpretation:


"Bring his gray head down to the grave in blood."
-1Kings2:9


David may have had no lust for women on his deathbed, but he had bloodlust. These men had never been forgiven, they just unknowingly awaited judgment.


Is that not how it works in many of our lives: Judgment is not forgotten, just postponed? And meanwhile, we have resentment to occupy our time.




Resentment is the leather-bound book in which we, newly appointed judges, jot down the sins others commit against us.

Are you grinding your teeth into the smile you beam in the face of repeat offenses and hurtful speech ?
-Your resentment is building


Are you hating the lack of freedom you have around friends and family as you avoid the offender like a JW at your door on a Saturday morning?
-Classify this sin under "A" for "Annoyance"


Are they an infraction away from receiving "a piece of your mind"?
Better yet, "a piece of your peace?"
-Then you are ready to pen Volume II


If resentment feels justified and natural to you, it is because – it is, you have dealt with it all your life, though you probably know it better by it's other name: unforgiveness. And our unforgiveness screams for retribution and revenge.


But in our judges chambers, on the bottom row of the bookshelf of all that we know, underneath our latest edition of 'The Record of Wrongs', sits a dusty book called the 'Truth of Life' and it reads: In human relationships, true victims rarely exist, and even if they did at one point, they hardly ever stay that way for long.


Case in Point:
Shimei threw rocks at David for the very reason David had Joab killed, for being a man of bloodshed. And Joab felt retribution was deserved, after the king had allowed his brother's murderer to visit the palace like a common guest.


Were they justified?Yes.
Was he justified? Yes.
Though, it does not really matter.


Imagine a well-dressed and over-ambitious salesperson that talks your head off once you open your front door to them, he does not get the hint that you are uninterested in purchasing puppy pocket protectors today and refuses to take "no" for an answer...so you clobber him over the head with a baseball bat and consequently feel much better – you may be justified in your eyes and even in those of a jury of your peers, but in front of God Almighty – you stand guilty. 'Right' does not exist in the absence of God's standard.

Justification does not equal Justice.

If I left the story of my high school hurt as it is, you might get the idea I spent my years until graduation as a quarry of some sort – not exactly. To a certain degree I became angry and merciless, and took pride in whenever I could put these on display. But as mold spreads through a house, so was I not given the choice of which parts of my life it would infect.

Forgiveness and mercy are foreign languages we must learn, and virtues we must make the consistent choice to demonstrate because hate and unforgiveness are our native tongue and as natural to us a breathing. David knew this all too well.


After sinning himself, he made the following confession:


"Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me."
-Psalm 51:5


There is a part of me, the true me, that is sick with sin and loves my unforgiveness. When I ask it for kind words, all it suggests are curses, when I probe it for peaceful resolutions, it suggests I sharpen my sword.


So what hope is there for us? Thank God there is more to Psalm 51:


Verses 6-7:
"Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."
Hyssop is a flower that was used in the Old Testament for purifying infected dwellings, but it was of no use – until mixed with blood.


"He shall purify the house with... blood, the fresh water, the live bird, the cedar wood, the hyssop and the scarlet yarn...and it will be clean."
-Leviticus 14:52-53
What I regularly pray and know in my heart, is that if my pains serve any real purpose in this life, it is for God's use in the purification of my sinful nature.


Jesus Christ, your high priest that surely understands the temptation of unforgiveness and revenge, is aware of your loss. He will renew you with the use of His hyssop, but only with HIS blood.


"Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
-Psalm 51:12-13


This is how Christ uses the "foolish" things of this world to confound the "wise":


He uses the "dead" things in it to give us "life"


He uses the "wounded" to "heal" others, and even "teach transgressors"


Any good response to evil requires wisdom outside of nature its self and it is His to give. By His Spirit he will give you words to speak, actions to live and prayers to pray in ANY and ALL situations, so that though others may want to, they will find no fault in you.


Therefore friends, look above and see that He began teaching us His lessons long before we learned any others and by His Grace, He will be faithful to complete them.


In Him,

Jean-Marc